Sacrifice and Devotion

Several years ago when I was pregnant with our last two children, yes, twins, I was put on bed rest early in the pregnancy. It wasn’t too strict, but I was to lay low, not lift heavy things, put up my feet often, that sort of thing. Already having four other children I felt I was always behind on things, and I would often do more than I probably should. After a while, my doctor, who was a specialist, decided I was alright to go back to a more normal routine. Just shortly after this happened, I went to another doctor’s visit (you have a lot when there is more than one baby) and found out I would have to go back on bed rest. This time it was serious, and I would not be allowed to do hardly anything. I had developed TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome. I became overwhelmed by the thought of not doing anything while my family moved about around me. I wasn’t even half done with my pregnancy and knew that without serious help, these babies would come into the world with a stressed mother and exhausted father, and a very messy house. 

My ward members stepped up to the plate to help out wherever they could, but there is no way that all of our family’s needs could be met by their generous offers. During all of this new three-ring –circus my husband became the mother and the father. He was calm and composed. He could problem solve and convince my children to do things they had never done before. Not only was he meeting the physical needs of our entire family, but he was meeting our emotional needs, and as a pregnant woman, I had a lot of emotional needs. I observed my husband pack lunches, help with homework, brush hair, and do dishes all at the same time. Late at night, when everyone was in bed, he would do his notes and documentations for work.  I watched from the family room couch as my husband sacrificed every bit of himself for me and our four children in the hopes of adding two more.

As I read Drawing Heaven into your Marriage, by H. Wallace Goddard, I came to understand that my husband wasn’t sacrificing at all. My husband service was not a sacrifice; it was a devotion.  I read, “To care about someone does not mean sacrificing one’s time and energy for that person. It means devoting them to the person and taking joy in doing so; in the end, one feels richer for one’s efforts, not poorer.” After I read this, I started to search for a little more about sacrifice. Sacrifice is something given or lost; synonyms for the word are obligation, disadvantage, and cost. 

Now I don’t want to undermine the importance of sacrifice.  We learn and have experienced the importance of sacrifice. We hopefully understand that we must sacrifice for a close and successful marriage to happen. Sometimes, however, I think that our sacrifice becomes so pure that it transforms into devotion. That is exactly what happened to my husband. I could tell in everything that he was doing that it was no longer a burden for him, but a blessing. He had handed the weight to our Savior and in return, he carried out impossible tasks, daily!

Synonyms for devotion are, love, loyalty, constancy, and commitment. There are days when I sacrifice everything I do for those around me, and I go to bed exhausted. I know that there are times when we all let someone else pick the movie. There are times when we get less sleep to stay up with the sick child. There are times when we don’t get the hot shower, or the comfy seat, or the last piece of cake, or any piece of cake for that matter.

Many times we will sacrifice what we really want,but sometimes we get to devote ourselves. I hope in my marriage I will take more of my sacrifices and turn them into loving devotion.