Progression of Marriage?

Why do we get married?

What’s the purpose?

Who’s to say how, when, and with whom we should marry?

     I didn’t think too much of marriage growing up. I’m sure I had visions of a wedding dress and a ring. I thought about cooking, because I have always liked it. I didn’t think too much of the details. I just thought one day I would grow up, meet a boy, think he was cute, and I would head off to the temple. As I got older, I still didn’t think too much differently.  I learned to stay away from boys who didn’t have the same values as I and I gravitated towards boys I had a good time with.  It seemed simple and for the most part, it seemed that everyone else was following the same pattern, minus the fact that others didn’t have the temple in mind because they didn’t believe that way.

     Marriage is different now and dating most certainly is different. Change is good or should I say progress is good. You would think as time goes on that we would be progressing. Marriage in ancient times was a way of providing social stability. There were arranged marriages and still are in parts of the world. There are forced marriages and plural marriages. Dowries have been given at marriage and as many of us know, Jonny Lingo gave 8 cows for his wife. Throughout all of history, I think we would agree there are many, many things that have changed and evolved. However, the one thing that I see as a constant is marriage is between a man and a woman; I know sometimes that has been more than one woman, but always male and female.

     Within the last ten years, this constant has been challenged and considered an acceptable way to live life. Same-sex marriage has made headlines and created great divides between people. I am not here to judge; God gave me that right. I am here, however, to “stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places”- Mosiah 18: 9. I will love everyone, because that’s also a commandment, and do as counseled by our apostles, “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”- The Family: A proclamation to the World.

     Long before there was marriage for status, there was a marriage ordained of God between a man and a woman. Adam and Eve are and continue to be an example.  Chief Justice John G. Roberts, of the Supreme Court proclaimed, “This universal definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman is no historical coincidence. Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine, or any other moving force of world history—and certainly not as a result of a prehistoric decision to exclude gays and lesbians. It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.” This statement goes hand in hand with words from the Proclamation, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

     Elder Russell M. Nelson gave a speech in 2014 that I think answers many of these questions:

"God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quoted bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!"

"Brothers and sisters, undergirded by incontrovertible truth, proclaim your love for God! Proclaim your love for all human beings 'with malice toward none, with charity for all.' They as children of God are our brothers and sisters. We value their rights and feelings. But we cannot condone efforts to change divine doctrine. It is not for man to change." 

     I trust these words by Elder Nelson, and I believe that the family is under great attack. I believe that a man and a woman should marry, and if possible have children. I also know that God lets me love everyone and wants me to treat everyone with kindness. Recently, I was introduced to this video with Cathy Ruse, Senior Fellow for Legal Studies at the Family Research Council; I found her words to be inspiring and true.